Reflecting on the last few days...

The below started as a Facebook post, but it became too long. So I put it here.....

Loss makes you reflect. Time makes you forget. The last few days has polished up my perspective. Below you will see my jumbled thoughts over the last few days. 

1. Always say I LOVE YOU and give that hug. Even if you are angry or disgruntled. 

2. Offenses. Judgements. Assumptions. Hang ups. Passive Aggressive cat and mouse games so many seem to enjoy. None of that bullshit matters when you are gone. Forgive, Sincerely. Reconcile, Sincerely. Make peace. If you don't, you will regret it. Trust me, I have seen this rip people apart so deeply.

3. Be there. Everyday someone needs you. Be there. It can be big or small. Be there. Our purpose is to love one another and love our neighbor as ourself. You can only do that by being there. And sometimes, that means going back to number 2 on this list. 

4. You matter. Your life. Your story. You and all your quirks. You and all the good and bad stuff. All of you matters. Your experiences, your trials, and your life are unique. Use that to help. Sara did so much for people, especially after her cancer diagnosis. So many reached out to her because her experience could help. She could (and did) offer advice, encouragement, and support. We all can do the same in our own way. You dont have to be everything to everyone, but go back to #3, and be there when someone needs you.

5a. Let them go. Those people who look down their noses at you because you are you or you are different or they are jealous. Those people who treat you one way in public and another way in private.  Those people who put their expectations on you or make assumptions about you. Fuck them all. Don't change for these assholes. They don't fucking matter. Live your life not giving a fuck about their bullshit opinions of you. Because that is what it is, bullshit. In the end, they are irrelevant. In the end, the people who matter and love you will be there. And they will be there for the real you, not the you they think you should be. Cherish those people. Love those people deeply. Hold onto them tightly. 

5b. If you judge people by what others say and not your own experience, you might want to consider working on that. People have bad moments, would you want to be judged on only your bad moments? No? Well then don't do that to other people. I would be regretful if I did that. Example, I ADORE the curmudgeons of the world. There are many I would not know or appreciate if I listened to others and judged from their opinions. 

6. Life is about quality of time NOT quantity. We can't control the quantity due to complex lives, schedules, distance and even death. We can control the quality. You also do not need to live near to send a text, share a picture, make a call. You don't have to make elaborate plans. Just do what you can, when you can and with whom you can because that is the best you can do. Sara and I did not see each other often. But I remember EVERY conversation we had. I remember EVERY word of encouragement, hope, and accountability she shared with me. I can't say that about many others. We never made elaborate plans and we saw her when we saw her. I am not mad about that, she wasnt mad about that. But when we did see one another the moments had substance and were not ruined by small talk and making hallow promises for future plans that we knew we could not keep. Quality!

7. Growing old is a privilege. Don't waste it. Make changes to respect the life you are blessed with. Try to do a little better each day to create healthy habits. It can be how you eat or exercise. It can be about getting counseling. Using your time better. GETTING THOSE CANCER SCREENINGS! GETTING THAT BLOODWORK DONE.  We can all do better to make our lives better. Don't throw away your shot, as Hamilton reminds us 😊

If you read this far, you are a saint. 🤣 I wrote this so I can compile my jumbled thoughts from the past days. And I decided to share it via Facebook to be reminded of them yearly and in the off chance that someone else may need one or all of these reminders. Loss always makes you reflect. Time always makes you forget. These are things I don't want to lose sight of.