The Perfect Storm: Part 1 of Mandy's Food Therapy
Mandy: “What’s this?”
Me: “Mashed Potatoes.”
Mandy: “I don’t like mashed potatoes.”
Me: “Well, you need to eat those or your get no dessert.”
Mandy: “Okay, I did not want dessert
anyways.”
Mandy: “What’s for dinner?”
Me: “Soup”
Mandy: “I don’t want that.”
Me: “Well it is what I am making.”
Mandy: “Okay, I don’t want dessert and
will go to bed.”
For the past 3 years this was our life. Those are mild examples, but you get the
point. I had a young child that simply
did not want to eat what she did not want to eat and would give herself a
punishment.
Why did she not want to eat? Your
guess is as good as mine at this point. Especially, when you toss in situations
like this:
Me: “Mandy I made Spaghetti!”
Mandy: “I don’t like spaghetti.”
Me: “You used to eat spaghetti all the time.”
Mandy: “I don’t like it.”
Mandy: “Mommy, what is this?”
Me: “It is chicken.”
Mandy: “I don’t like chicken.”
Me: “You eat Chicken Nuggets.”
Mandy: “Can I have Shells and Cheese?”
Me: “No, you need to eat what I made.”
Mandy: “I don’t want it.”
Me: “You will sit there until you eat.”
Mandy: **30 minutes later still sitting
there** this would sometimes go on for an hour and then she would go to bed
without touching her food.
I brought this up to her doctor each year at her check-ups.
We even made a general list of things that she would eat. Her list consisted of:
·
Hot Dogs
·
Bacon
·
Grilled Cheese
·
Shells and Cheese
·
Cheese Sticks
·
Misc Raw Vegetables
·
Cheese Pizza
·
McDonalds Chicken Nuggets
·
Bananas
·
Mandarin Oranges in the containers
·
Applesauce
·
Sugar and Salty Snacks
·
Some bread
·
Peanut Butter and Jelly
·
Ramen Noodles
·
Certain yogurts
·
Donuts/Cinnamon Rolls
·
Select French Fries
Starting about the age of 3 ½ this is ALL she would eat. A strong
eater before this and all of a sudden a switch flipped and this was ALL she
would consume.
When I brought this up at her 4 year appointment I was assured that
this was normal and she would grow out of it.
The same was said at the 5 year appointment.
Trying to deal with this at meal times was becoming exhausting. We were a point where we would pack food for
her when we would go somewhere for the holidays or if she stayed at someone’s
house and we had to pick a restaurant based off of what she would eat.
We were met with disapproving glances and the occasional snarky
remarks, like, “If you would make her eat what is in front of her you will not
have to have separate meals.” OR “Just let her go hungry, she will eat
eventually.”
I began responding back,
“Okay, let’s look at my oldest whose favorite food is STEAMED CLAMS! Now let’s talk again about what we are doing wrong in regards to Mandy?”
“Okay, let’s look at my oldest whose favorite food is STEAMED CLAMS! Now let’s talk again about what we are doing wrong in regards to Mandy?”
This shut the criticism down quickly. When faced with the fact that
my first child not only was a great eater, but her favorite food was something
most adults cannot stomach it made their opinions suddenly moot.
By the time I got to Mandy’s 6 year old appointment I was at my wits
end. I did not let up when the doctor
inquired about her food. I kept telling
her that this was not normal and something has to happen and I don’t know what
to do. I even sighted the drastic
difference between the two girls.
Thankfully, the 3rd time was a charm and we received an
evaluation to see an Occupational Therapist at Cincinnati Children’s.
At first I thought this solution maybe a bit drastic. I always thought of Occupational Therapy for
kids that had extreme sensory issues, not someone like Mandy that seemed to
have a major case of stubbornness. But,
I embraced the decision with hope that just maybe it will help, even just a
little!
On January 29th we had our evaluation and I was nearly in
tears explaining the situation. THIS was
the moment that I realized how emotional this had been for Mandy and that this
was not just stubbornness.
As the Therapist asked us questions Mandy’s reactions were
heartbreaking! She was terrified! Food scared her! The thought of trying
something out of her normal routine was the single most terrifying thing she
could ever think of doing[CW1] .
Why was it so scary? How does it go from a simple dislike to total
fear? How does a kid go from eating something one day to refusing to touch it
the next?
In our situation, I think there was an incident that terrified her.
Like gagging on something. For some kids that would happen and it would not phase
them. But, if you couple that with some
sensory sensitivity it created a perfect storm for our current situation.
January 29th was the day that my eyes were opened up. It took me a few days to shake off the worst
mom in the world feeling. But once I got
over it I realized that this is more than just about food. It is about a very
brave 6 year old girl who has to face her fears and overcome them EVERY SINGLE DAY!
I will be sharing more about our journey in the world of Food Therapy
over the coming weeks and months. But, before I close out this piece, I would
like to say that I am amazed at the number of people that are interested in
this part of our life and have requested that we share our story. I hope that in sharing our journey you may
find something that may help your family.
If you have any questions about it please feel free to ask. Though I am not an expert in this by any
standard, I can help guide you to resources that may help you in your
situation. And it goes without saying, if you ever feel something is not right
then please speak to your family doctor.
And be relentless in advocating for your child until you find something
that helps.
****Next post in this series will be about our first Therapy session
and what happened when we brought it into the home.****
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