$#!+ Happens: Grace Extended

One Sunday I was going to church to lead the women’s Sunday school class.  This was a DVD driven class and as a general rule I would screen the video before the class watched it so I could be prepared for the discussion questions.  Well, this one particular Sunday, I arrived and was setting up and realized that I left the DVD at home in my DVD player. 

What I thought was a very seasoned Christian woman loudly and sarcastically exclaimed, ‘WELL THANK GOD WE NOW KNOW YOU ARE NOT PERFECT.’

This took me aback.  Later on I will understand that this temperament was to be expected from this individual.  But at the time it embarrassed me and stumbling through that class was one of the more difficult hours of my christian teaching experience.

After the class, another woman, very sweet lady, gave me a piece of advice.  She said, “There will always be people like that, looking to find your faults and point them out to you like it is a reason to celebrate.  You have to ignore that and remember to extend yourself grace in your mistakes and in your shortcomings. And also remember to extend grace to others with the same respect.” 

This incident occurred over 5 years ago.  However, over the past year I have been reflecting on it more and more as I face new challenges and work with new individuals and make many, many more mistakes.

As a Christian I strive to be Christ like.  I look to the gospels and the book of acts and see these disciples, who were flawed and imperfect and I do my best to use them as examples.  After all, as a Christian, I too am a disciple….at least that is what my pastor reminds us of daily…

On this current leg on my Journey with Jesus, I am seeking the answer to:

“HOW DO WE EXTEND GRACE TO OURSELVES?”

My answer, as of now, is not academic.  It is simply my current coping mechanism.

I have stopped apologizing when life happens and plans have to change.

This week I was hit with a massive allergic reaction to poison ivy, bug bites and an unknown allergen.  This has pushed me to go on steroids and a lot of antihistamines….not to mention being slathered with anti-itch lotions.  It has made some rather simple tasks difficult. 

When my kids were infants, more times than I can count, there was an epic poop explosion that meant we were going to be an hour late.

These are just a two examples of how life has gotten in the way of the tasks I have had set before me. 

What do we do? We feel shame or embarrassment because we are late, or that we cannot get these resources completed as we hoped, or that we cannot make a certain function.  We feel we have to apologize for life interruptions or being less than perfect.

HOW ABSURD ARE WE!?!

My coping mechanism has been to remind myself, sometimes daily, that this is God’s plan and NOT mine! 

The day I left the DVD at home I received a lesson in grace that I would fall back on years later.  The teaching happened, just not in the way I planned it, but in the way that God designed it.  I was to be the student that day.

The poison ivy outbreak, I have had to put any pride aside and take my kids to commitments with a rash all over my face and arms.  I have had to go into meetings looking like this and I have had to drop the ball on some tasks because of how tired I was and how sensitive my skin was (reaction to meds).  The world is not going to fall apart because a communication strategy had to be altered or an email was delayed.  God will still do what he has to do.  It is a tangible reminder that the ministry is NOT on my shoulders but in God’s hands. I won't even go on to explain how I remotely related to the lepers in scripture thanks to this experience.

Poop explosions taught me the most…oddly…it is a reminder of that old saying “Shit happens.”  It was a tangible experience that shows that truer words have never been spoken by man! “Shit happens” and you have 2 choices.  Clean up the baby and leave late or make a bigger mess by taking the poop slathered child into the car and to the event…..the choice is a no brainer.  Deal with the “shit” the rest will wait. 

The whole point is this, if you are in the middle of your own storm and being overly hard on yourself, STOP IT! Do not apologize because life unavoidable stands in your path.  Deal with it and then get to gettin'. 

And if you are on the sidelines and you happen to witness a massive poop explosion (metaphorically I hope) show your Christian maturity and extend grace and encourage that person that God's still got this and will work it all out.