The Wolfe Den

The below started as a Facebook post, but it became too long. So I put it here..... Loss makes you reflect. Time makes you forget. The last few days has polished up my perspective. Below you will see my jumbled thoughts over the last few days.  1. Always say I LOVE YOU and give that hug. Even if you are angry or disgruntled.  2. Offenses. Judgements. Assumptions. Hang ups. Passive Aggressive cat and mouse games so many seem to enjoy. None of that bullshit matters when you are gone. Forgive, Sincerely. Reconcile, Sincerely. Make peace. If you don't, you will regret it. Trust me, I have seen this rip people apart so deeply. 3. Be there. Everyday someone needs you. Be there. It can be big or small. Be there. Our purpose is to love one another and love our neighbor as ourself. You can only do that by being there. And sometimes, that means going back to number 2 on this list.  4. You matter. Your life. Your story. You and all your quirks. You and all the good and bad stuff...

One of the things I have noticed on the entire world wide web (do they still call it that?), there are very few things that discuss how to have relationships with people that have mental “illness.”   I see a lot on defining the scope of the “illness” but nothing that discusses how to best approach people that struggle.   First of all, I do put “illness” in quotation marks.   I hate that word.   I think that that is the first problem we face when we are looking at the stigma we fight against each day.   Mental “illness” indicates that we are sick and sick is usually something that is seen as bad or something that you should sympathize.   Mental “illness” is more like an allergy or a birthmark and less like being “sick.” What do I mean? Many of us that deal with things like anxiety, depression, panic, personality disorders and so on were born that way.   Others, it is a result of something or a series of things that happened that rewired our brain...

Mandy: “What’s this?” Me: “Mashed Potatoes.” Mandy: “I don’t like mashed potatoes.” Me: “Well, you need to eat those or your get no dessert.” Mandy: “Okay, I did not want dessert anyways.” Mandy: “What’s for dinner?” Me: “Soup” Mandy: “I don’t want that.” Me: “Well it is what I am making.” Mandy: “Okay, I don’t want dessert and will go to bed.” For the past 3 years this was our life.   Those are mild examples, but you get the point.   I had a young child that simply did not want to eat what she did not want to eat and would give herself a punishment.   Why did she not want to eat?   Your guess is as good as mine at this point. Especially, when you toss in situations like this: Me: “Mandy I made Spaghetti!” Mandy: “I don’t like spaghetti.” Me: “You used to eat spaghetti all the time.” Mandy: “I don’t like it.” Mandy: “Mommy, what is this?” Me: “It is chicken.” Mandy: “I don’t like chicken.” Me: “You...

Last week we took the girls for their yearly check-up. As usual they checked their height and weight.  They made sure that each limb flexed properly and they checked the spine.  If they were due, they would have offered to provide the girls with vaccinations to ward off some terrifying disease. After they got all of the proper numbers from the exam they enter it into a computer and BAM! There is a chart that shows the growth curve.  For the girls it shows the time since birth.  Thankfully the girls are growing as they should be and are hitting all the benchmarks expected for their age. Wouldn’t it be great if we could see growth this easily with our spiritual life?  A chart that tells us if we are doing it the right way? What if I told you THERE WAS!!!! Well not in a literal senses of a chart, but there is a way to see if we are growing and not living a stagnant life or indulging in a lukewarm faith.  And we should use it to make sure that ...

Pressure cooking is not something that is new to me.  I used to use one frequently when I was in the Army.  It was always a fantastic way to get tender meat and get dinner finished in a pinch.  The pressure cooker I was used to was the on the stove model that most people would run in fear from.  I grew up watching my dad with these models and learned all the safety that is required for these things.  Since I was very aware of the what NOT to do and how to respect this intense cooking process I was not fearful of the device. In recent years, I had not heard much along the lines of pressure cooking and had a hard time finding a decent and affordable cooker.  Then enter the new wave of electric pressure cookers. The price tag is a HEFTY one and is the biggest reason why I was apprehensive to get one.  I could not see how spending over a hundred dollars for a kitchen appliance was justifiable.  Once I found one on clearance at a...

When I was about 5 or 6 years old we moved to a new house.  The two houses were literally just a few blocks apart.  This was not the first time we had moved, but it was certainly the most memorable of all the moves because of the swing set.  My dad had a dilemma.  And if you ever put up a swing set you know the dilemma I am speaking of…how do you move this thing and put it back up again as simply as possible? I don’t know how long he contemplated a solution but he settled on the simplest one.  Don’t disassemble it. At this stage my father owned a pub and managed a club, so he knew that he had a resource! His bar flies! He rounded up four of them and promised them a pitcher of beer and a hot meal if they helped him move this swing set. Imagine the face of those living along those few blocks as four bar flies were walking down the street together, each carrying one leg of this massive metal swing set.  By the time they arrived at our ne...